As this decade comes to a close, I have found myself spending a great deal of time reflecting on what the last ten years has meant to me. These last ten years of my life have been the hardest, most rewarding and painful (physically and mentally), that I have ever experienced in my adult life. This decade has been quite honestly, the decade of pain–for it was during this last ten years that I had three spinal surgeries, developed chronic migraines, endured countless infertility and medical treatments, completed my Ph.D, and gave birth to my son.
I am really not one to jump on the “new year’s resolution ” train; but this upcoming year has me pausing and really looking inward to what I wish to achieve over the next year. As someone who suffers from a chronic illness, It can be a bit daunting to try to set “BIG” goals for a year–because sometimes you just can’t meet them. The first half of my life I was a go getter, self motivated, strong willed, type A personality who could accomplish ALOT in a year’s time. But now, with this chronic neurological disease that I battle every day, its hard to really set the bar VERY high for expectations for this upcoming year.
If I have learned anything in the last decade, its that NOTHING in this life can be taken for granted–if you do not have your health–you have nothing. So as we ease into this new decade–I too will be easing into my “New Year’s Resolutions” which include things such as more time with family, more pacing and management of my attacks and setting an intentional mindset to focus on the joy and happy things in my life. Because, this illness is not going anyway anytime soon, and, I have to learn to better manage it so that I can one day set lofty goals for myself.
But for now, I will spend my days settling into my routine of writing, meditating, practicing yoga and spending LOTS of time with my son. Being a stay at home mom was never something I sought out–in fact, I always imagined myself as much more of a career driven person–but God had other plans for me–and over this next year’s time, I plan to seek out his purpose for my new found life, hold tight to the good/low pain days, and soak up all the precious time with my son.
May you all have a restful and wonderful 2020! Happy New Year!